व्त्फ़ (WTF in Hindi)

I haven't vented (properly) in some time, and as was pointed out to me by whom I believe to be my only real reader...this is supposed to be a place where I could vent and be honest. (I'm also not as fat now as in this photo, but it conveys something...special.)
That my apparent life was little more than a sequence of "release valves." Not quite, but I can see how it appears that way as most of the time all I ever show of "me" is the release of pent frustration.

This all started rather innocently today. Someone asked for my assistance. By asked, I mean to express expected. They expected in a rather unreasonable time frame and unreasonable way. Unreasonable in that, it's not within my realm of responsibilities. I do try to assist at every opportunity just to be nice, and becase I know how frustrating it can be to solve a problem when a damn processs precludes anything resembling progress...however, my nice-ness is waning.

I was sent an email at 17:04, expressing a problem they needed resolved. The following morning at 08:34 wanting to know if I was done yet. Huh?!? Are you fracking serious?

They were, and are actually. They have found me...less than nice today, especially when I explained their situation having existed within my grace, and that grace was being retracted. Go. Call the help-less desk and molest me no further.

Which brings me to a conversation with my sister...

A series of unfortunate events has transpired for her and her family that I shan't get into however we touched upon the grieving/healing process which sparked this response from me:

"Yeah, everyone does it differently. I didn't really appreciate how different people were until relatively recently.

If anything, it just serves to further alienate me. I'm nothing like these things I associate with day to day. Seldom do I find someone to talk to for more than 5 minutes if it's not work related, and even then I don't have much to say. I spend my time in my head forcing myself to be silent and wait while these slow-ass baboons speak, ad nauseum, to explain to me what it is they think needs to be done. For fun, most of the time I fix their problem *while* they are still talking...

But now I'm just venting my day's frustrations on you. Sorry for the tangent.

And people wonder why I try to work from the house or in a private corner as much as possible. No, I do not want to be "social" with you. You can't even understand half of what I might say. Your thoughts seldom stray far from food, sex, entertainment...ever. The question of "Why?" seldom molests you. Idiot bastards...go to Wal-Mart and buy yourself a bigger TV to watch millionaire thugs play a fucking game."

Now...I know you must be thinking "Hey! What's wrong with sports?" In and of themselves, nothing. Play your ass off, I encourage it actually.

Did you miss that? Play *your* ass off. The idea that people spectate/hero worship astounds me.
The problem, the thing I see as 'wrong' is this. It's out of line in it's priority. People pay exorbitant amounts to see these games in person, more for paraphanalia, more, more, more...for what?

Entertainment? To say stupid shit like:

"We played a good game Sunday!" "Our team made the playoffs!"

Is it now? Really?

Since you're part of it why don't you try going on the sidelines then? No? What part is it you play in actuality? Oh yeah...you're the sheeple that fund this extravagance. Without ever asking why I might add...never a question as to what real benefit does this really apply to *my* life?

Other questions you may have are: What do I actually think about that's be so hard to talk about to others?

Ha! Let's start with dark matter. Since it's widely accepted that it exists. What exactly is it? How does its mass interact with my mass? If we accept that all mass creates a gravitational field is it possible that fate is really dark matter attracting my mass in a particular direction and time? Is there truly time and space? Or is what we refer to as "space" simply matter we cannot see nor comprehend?

How about magnetic wave propagation? What if, since we are electrically charged beings and having mass and a gravitational field....in the process of our daily living and thinking and generally emitting electrical waves and gravitational fields is it possible that we also affect that matter which we cannot perceive and if so, are we mucking about in another universes life? Can they "hear" my thoughts as electromagnetic energy emissions? Hmm...

I don't find these types of preponderances in many of the public places I'm oft forced to frequent. If any...ever.

How about this: If Einstein maintained that energy ceased to exist beyond the speed of c (186282.91 miles per second) (umm, that's light speed...ish) is it then possible that it actually does exist as dark matter beyond our perception? What if dark matter is just *really fast* matter?

Enough. I'm, as usual, over driving the point in my relentless pursuit of something very simple, yet hard to find in this plane of existance.

Understanding.

P.S. I did fix the problem for them in the end. On my schedule though.

P.P.S. Like you cared.