This isn't what it appears to be about...as usual. What I want to present to you is an idea that has occured to me on many many occasions. How many people do you think would agree to allow anyone the use of a car, any kind they chose to buy out on the highways and byways without any training, supervision, nor licensing requirement? A lot of teenagers I'm sure. Now I know what you're probably thinking...what in the hell are you on about now? And what does this have to do with that massive revolver you are holding?(Smith & Wesson Model 500 by the way)
Nothing really to do with the revolver other than, as with my automobile allegory, to convey a sense of potential danger if used by the untrained.
My point, moreover my fervent desire, is to relay the inherit danger of allowing just anyone and everyone access to a computer, and even worse the ability to attach that untrained hand guiding the computer to the Internet.
I submit this: People do not understand the ubiquitous Personal Computer. Further the masses have very little beyond surface knowledge of technologies that they interact with daily.
As such they cannot truly understand risk. Without understanding of risk there is inherit danger.
I'm not saying everyone should have complete understanding, but they should understand enough to know when to stop. Failing that, a mechanism forcing them to stop.
My suggestion is this: As computers, in my professional opinion, possess as much potential for personal harm as does an automobile similar licensing should be required.
Yes, I'm really serious. Think it can't cause personal injury? Perhaps you should speak to the foolish woman who allowed her life savings to be stolen by a well known Internet scam. Ask about that second mortgage she took out. Yeah...anyways.
I think that people should be given basic training in order to safely operate a computer. A learner's permit as it were. Without a license you could not purchase nor operate a PC.
What you might wonder spawned this thought? Users. Fucking idiot users.
I've had this idea for years, suggested it at a few corporations I've worked for. It's a sound idea. But it'd take time and money. Guess why no one thinks this is a good idea? No one likes to be restricted, but how many people like getting stupid assed viruses because you don't know not to open every attachment you receive? Or better still how many folks like getting viruses from family member because they don't know any better? Uh huh.
How many times...so many I've lost count...have I been asked to look at someone's machine because "The Internet is slow" First thing I see...boot up and in the taskbar, next to the clock...about 20 little icons of all the nonsense shit they've installed. Each program robbing the computer of processor and memory resources...at fucking startup of the machine I might add. 20 minutes later...when the desktop finally appears and the hard drive stops churning I get to start their web browser...and wait some more...whilst all the godforsaken plug-ins start. (MySpace is the entry to hell by the way) ((Hint: Social networks...on a computer...aren't social. Moron.)) Defined: Social "3: of or relating to human society, the interaction of the individual and the group, or the welfare of human beings as members of society"
How many search toolbars, or toolbars in general, does one really need? I've seen machine, no lie, with Google, Yahoo, MSN, AND Lycos toolbars, along with Anti-virus toolbars, as well as provider (Comcast) toolbars.
Now let me backtrack for a minute and pick at a nit...To say "The Internet is slow" is criminal. It's retarded on a cosmic scale. The Internet...has no speed. Capiche? No, most likely...if you've ever uttered this phrase...you do not. You're the same person who says "NIC card" or "RAM memory" or any number of things demonstrative of ignorance of that of which you speak. The Internet is a series of interconnected networks. As such your ability to access it at any given speed is relative to a large number of factors. Chief amoungst those the health and well-being of your connected device.
Now then, where was I? Ahh yes...toolbars.
By the time I get their browser to actually open and again wait on the hard drive to stop it's incessant chatter due to all the memory paging going on (No, I'm not going to bother 'splaining that one Lucy) I have a screen with a 4 inch menu/toolbar area and MySpace as their damn homepage.
"Why is my machine slow?" Well little one it's because you bought a $200 Dell, and you had no idea about what the component specs were and now you're trying to run Windows XP SP1 (Yes, SP3 has been out for a long time...but why should I patch?) on a machine with 512 MB of RAM. Meanwhile at startup, before you even get to open the Start Menu you've sucessfully loaded 1024 MB worth of crap!!
Here are some rules to help everyone:
Rule Number One: The first rule of Fight Club is...oh wait...
Really...Rule Number One:
If you don't know, or suspect you don't know. Stop! Get some help...read a book, ask a knowledgeable friend, find a 12 year old...whatever, but learn first.
Rule Number Two:
If the computer starts asking you questions, e.g. "Are you sure..." Stop! You may be in violation of Rule One, refer to it.
Rule Number Three:
Read everything the computer puts on screen when you are installing software. A lot of software anymore does something called "Bundling" which often includes additional software, and toolbars aside from what you intend to install. As such it may be necessary to select the "Custom" option so that you can read and learn. Otherwise refer to rule number one, as you are most likely in violation.
We really do need learner's permits though...
There are a few flaws in your argument. For starters, you do not - in the USA - need a license to own a firearm. In fact, many places do not require you to have a permit of any kind to carry a weapon. A concealed firearm is the most frequent type of permit issued.
ReplyDeleteThen there is the concept of a computer being dangerous... until the robot uprising starts, they will not typically be fatal. Even then, the robots will have to fight off the zombies.
Stupid users are our fault and we need them. This isn't just because users require technically savvy people, and we get to have jobs, but you also have to consider that a larger population of computer owners means the cost of computers goes down as they become a commodity.
And to the point that you make about not doing something to a computer if you don't know enough, I'm reminded of my gift of a computer to my girlfriend quite a while ago (who I later married). When I gave it to her I said, "Do not be afraid of it. Whatever you do to it, I can fix it. Play and have fun, you won't learn nearly as much from a book as you'll learn by fooling around with it." It should be noted that she broke it to the point that I couldn't fix it.
Wait. What? I never said boo about requirements to own a firearm. :P
ReplyDeleteI did use automobile licensure as an allegory, which is a requirement worldwide.
Ass.
You're right - you didn't. So you drew a parallel between firearms and driving to show that you should license computers like firearms? Aren't we already doing that...kind of?
ReplyDeleteI think you are going to have to re-read. :)
ReplyDelete"And what does this have to do with that massive revolver you are holding?
(Smith & Wesson Model 500 by the way)
Nothing really to do with the revolver other than, as with my automobile allegory, to convey a sense of potential danger if used by the untrained."